Friday, November 30, 2007

TAKE MY BREATH AWAY........

It is said that love is the most beautiful thing given to the living beings by god. This omnipresent feeling is the most spectacular emotion that bonds people. I used to always read these lines and wondered if I’ll ever find a true love. Things have not worked in my favor when it comes to love and have been unsuccessful with all my affairs and after my every break up I was always left with a bitter feeling but I never thought I would get a special feeling from a person with whom I never spoke and knew nothing about her.
I clearly remember it was mid of December and it was first time winter was at its best in Mumbai. I was already late for the college. I anyhow packed up my bag and hurried towards the bus stop only to find that my bus had left. The next bus was fifteen minutes later. I was impatiently waiting for the next bus when my eyes went on an attractive, very attractive young woman. She simply took my breath away. She looked like an angel as she was heading towards the opposite bus stop. Her smart jeans and white kurta glowed in the golden rays of the rising sun. She must be in her mid twenties; I believe and had an average height with a figure to lust for. The long black hair framed her beautiful face. My eyes were glued on her, they were motionless, gazing at her splendor. I was confident that I had never seen a woman such appealing like her. I simply couldn’t take my eyes off her. A few minutes later her bus came and she vanished. The whole day I was smitten by her thoughts. I simply couldn’t resist myself speaking about her with my friends. I felt that it was love at first sight but my friends told me that it was just an infatuation and nothing else. This left me confused but I was happy since that confusion gave me a lovely feeling. The next day I reached the bus stop on time. My bus came but something inside prompted me not enter, I held myself back. As my bus left I again saw that lady, this time looking even more beautiful. She had something in her which had got me connected. I was hoping our eyes to meet but it did not happen. Two weeks went by, things continued the same way at the bus stop when suddenly one day out of blue she looked at me and gave a smile. That moment was magical. She also left her bus that day. I was thrilled and overjoyed. I thought of approaching her but had a sense of fear of ruining things. By the time my bus came and I went. The whole day I was cursing myself of being such a coward. My friends still believed that it was infatuation but I felt it was more than that and decided to speak to her. The next day I went to the bus stop and was waiting for her. I was continuously preparing for my lines to be said in front of her but to my disappointment she did not come even after my second bus left. Everyday I used to stand at the bus stop hoping to see her. Days went by and I never ever saw her again. Today it’s almost five years since I last saw her but even today when I stand at the bus stop I imagine her. Why did she miss her bus that day? Why did she smile at me? Did she want to talk to me? These questions keep coming into my mind and the answer which I get is just a beautiful feeling and smile on my face. My college friends still feel the same as they used to. Maybe they were right but one thing is true I never ever fell in love again.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

LOVE AT FIRST SITE......

How can one fall in love at first site? How can one fall in love without knowing the other person? But these questions did not bother me when I first saw Prachi. I knew I was in love and it was magical.
I was forced by my friend Neha to accompany her for an interview in one of a BPO’s. I hated the idea of working in a call center. Doing night shifts was not my cup of tea. I was a bit apprensive before but later on agreed because it was just a matter of one interview and I was sure enough of not being selected. The next day dressed in formals I accompanied her. Some 25 to 30 candidates had come for the interview. Neha and I occupied the last chairs of the row. Everybody around looked tensed and nervous while I on the other hand was tension free. I kept on chatting with Neha on some or the other topic. Even Neha seemed to be relaxed because she was confident enough of being selected. While we were busy chatting I heard someone asking “who all are waiting for their first round of interview” I looked up to see who it was and there I saw one of the most beautiful girl with some papers in her hand standing right in the front. Few of them including Neha and myself raised our hands. I enquired about that beautiful girl from a boy sitting in front of me. He said that her name is Prachi and she was the one who is going to take the interview. I was overjoyed. Prachi seemed to be in her mid twenties. She had an average height with a figure to match. She was wearing deep blue denim and a yellow kurta over it. Her beauty was beyond description. The long black curls framed her angelic face. Her deep brown eyes were twinkling and sparkling with excitement. To compliment the rest of the face, her lips were covered with a light pink lipstick and were begging for a kiss. My eyes were just glued on her. I instantly fell in love with her. This was the first time I experienced love at first site. I just couldn’t stop complimenting her. She was standing right in the front speaking with two of her colleagues and then suddenly disappeared. I was really thrilled by the fact that she was going to take my interview. I had now started preparing and kept on asking Neha about the likely questions to be asked. I wanted to impress her by my answers. A few minutes later I was called inside a cabin. With my head high and a smile on my face I went inside only to see some other lady waiting for me to take my interview. I was a bit disappointed but thought if selected I could see Prachi daily and therefore gave the interview very seriously. Both Neha and I were short listed for the second round. We were told that the next round would be conducted after the lunch. We went to the office canteen and ordered sandwiches for our self. I could feel the attraction drawing my eyes through the crowd, searching for that special lady. Finally I saw her. She was sitting with her colleagues in the corner of the canteen. She was so lively when she talked. I could almost include myself into the conversation just by watching her hand movements. Her beauty was pulling me to talk to her but there was also a sense of fear in me which made me stand where I was. After having our lunch Neha and I went and sat on the same chairs where we were sitting before. I was feeling sleepy but did not allow myself to close my eyes. I was now determined enough of getting selected. Prachi came in and was doing some work. Her fast footsteps from one end of the corridor to another showed how busy she was. Now whenever she passed by in front of me I tried doing wired things to catch her attention but she was totally engrossed in her work. At last she saw me. I gave a big smile, she reciprocated with the same. I was totally flattered. Now every time she saw me I tried doing some funny activity on which she used to give a smile. I was enjoying every moment and wanted that that day to never end. I wanted to talk to her but was not getting any chance. Meanwhile it was time for our next round. Our second round was interviewed by a senior HR of the company. In the beginning I was a bit nervous while giving the interview but later on became confident. It was close to evening. Everyone had done with their interview and were anxiously waiting for the results to get announced. My eyes were busy searching out for Prachi. Finally she came with a paper in her hand and called out five names that were selected. Neha was one of them. I was disappointed for not making it. More than getting selected I felt bad about not seeing Prachi anymore. As soon as I turned down to walk away I heard a voice calling out my name. I looked back and was thrilled to see Prachi. She came to me and said; “I am sorry it was a mistake from my side, even you are selected” hearing these words I again had a smile on my face. For her I was selected in her company but for me I was selected in her love and it was just the beginning.

Friday, November 2, 2007

A SUCCESSFUL FAILURE..

It is said that every failure is a stepping stone towards success but in my case it was something different. My every failure lead to another failure and this is how my life moved ahead.
My father always wanted me to be a successful soccer player. He wanted to prove to others what if he couldn’t make it his son would definitely make it as a good soccer player. I started out at a very young age with my father giving me the training. Everybody felt that I was the best in my age. My school days went through in learning the basics of the game. After passing out my 12th I decided to enter into the field of media since I wanted to be a journalist. The course required my full attention and commitment but at the same time I was also selected to play for a top soccer club of the city. My father thought that I was capable enough to do both things at a time. So I started out with both. In the beginning every thing was going normal. After every passing day things started getting hectic. I was flooded with projects which I had to submit within a given period of time. In afternoon I had to attend my classes and in evening I had to go through with my rigorous soccer training. It was getting difficult for me to handle. I was not able to complete my projects but anyhow I passed out my first year. On the other hand soccer was also getting tough for me. I couldn’t handle the pressure at the top level; my game performance had started declining. Dad told me that performance can go up and down and we also need to cope up with the pressure. My second year as a media student was more difficult, I finally came at a point of choosing either my studies or my game and I decided to go with the latter. I enrolled myself in commerce stream and tried to concentrate only on my game. My two valuable years had already got wasted and again I couldn’t give my second year commerce exams due to the soccer matches being conducted at the same time. My college friends were way ahead of me. Some had even started earning. Where they were earning 20000 to 25000 monthly I was still completing my education and playing soccer which fetched me few bucks. Anyhow I passed out my final year exams and now wanted to join a company and start earning but for that I had to leave my game. My dad was strictly against the idea of working he wanted me to continue with the game. After playing for almost five years in the top division I still wasn’t earning much. It was getting de motivating for me. I tried to explain this to my dad but he was in no mood to listen. Going against my dad was out of question so I had to stick with the game. My interest in the game had started to decline I was just playing for father. Day by day things were getting frustrating for me and one fine day I secretly went for an interview for a BPO company. After being selected I told this to my dad and he was really annoyed with me but later on he gave me permission to go ahead and do the job but only if I also continue playing. I agreed even though it was not possible to do two things at a time. My practice sessions were now being cut down because of my job timings but I had to take an off for my matches. Taking an off on job training was against the company rules and I was breaking the rules because there was no other choice, match was also important. The company thought that I had a casual attitude towards the job and so they warned me twice and the third time I was thrown out. I had yet again failed.
I couldn’t be a successful journalist
I couldn’t be a successful soccer player
I couldn’t be a successful employee
But I can surely call myself a successful failure.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND

Few days back I was watching a movie on my television. The movie continuously stressed on a line “A girl and a boy can never be best friends” The line seemed very irrelevant with my real life because my best friend was girl. The other day I was discussing this topic with Andy my office colleague. I felt a huge nostalgia about my friendship days with Merlin. It was giving me immense pleasure to speak to Andy about my best friend Merlin. I still remember the first day of our college, as I entered the classroom I saw a girl sitting among boys at the back bench. My first impression of Merlin was that of a tom boy and that’s what made me approach her. Our friendship instantly struck off and from then on there was no looking back. She came along with very friendly kind of nature, very outspoken and a bit mischievous…..I guess like me. Our days would be spent roaming in college campus, sitting in the canteen and if possible attending lectures. The reason we bonded so well was the fact that our thinking were quite similar. We quickly became well known personalities of our college. I never treated her as a girl, for me was a boy with whom I could share every little thing of my life and same was for her. She was the person who was capable of listening to my thoughts, views and philosophies about life and she understood what I was saying. She never judged me or deserted me even if I was a little eccentric at times. She would also try to help and guide me when I was headed on a downward spiral. No matter what anyone else would say about me, she would never leave our friendship. The only time she used be busy for me was when she would be with David. David was her boyfriend and Merlin met him even before I came into her life. He was working in a private firm and due to his busy schedule they would get very little time to spend with each other. Merlin was very serious about her relationship with him and wanted to get married as soon as she would finish her college. I was with her. The only difference between us was that I was very unsuccessful with my affairs while Merlin was going strong with David. Our college days just went through and we became graduates. The very next year Merlin got married to David. I was very happy for her as she was about to step into a new life. Today Merlin and David have moved to another city and even I have got busy with my job. We may not see each other that often, we may talk on the phone once a month. However, when we do connect no matter how infrequently it is as if we never parted. Our conversations are as comforting as if we are together everyday. Even now we are best friends. As I was concluding my story Andy just glared through my eyes and said, “Today I understood that why you never had a girlfriend”. “Why” I questioned. “It’s because that special place in your heart is already occupied by someone else and no one is allowed to enter it without your permission" By saying these words Andy just left. I just stood there silently looking Andy go. That day I realized that the line in the movie was so true. A boy and a girl can never be best friends. I was in love with Merlin.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

FRIENDS FOREVER

It was mid of December,
When I met her as a stranger,
She took me as a friend,
And promised, it would never come to an end

She had a smile on her pretty face,
Which could light up even the darkest place

Her arrival would make my face brighter,
Her laughter would turn my tense moment lighter.

Now I had ears to listen,
Heart to understand.
She would bring me comfort,
And lend me a helping hand.

Her melodies would stop the thunder,
Her joys would clear the sky.
But my heart would melt
When she used to cry.
She is the person, whom I’ll always treasure in my heart,
Even as the days & years go by,
She will ever be an inseparable part

Today when I see the dark sky,
I find a lonely star,
He comes to me and says
“Friend don’t think about her,
She’s gone very far”

THOSE FOND MEMORIES

It is rightly said that “love is like heaven but hurts like hell”. I understood these words only when I went through it and trust me it was a real tough experience.
“I don’t want to talk to you again” Diana said these words in a stern voice with out realizing the effect that it would have on me and hung up the phone.” hello hello” I repeated but there was no reply. The phone had got disconnected. I never knew that my small mistake would result in a chasm in our relationship. It was very hard for me to obey her orders so I tried calling but in vain. Things were getting out of my hand and there wasn’t much I could do against a sky of distance which had occurred between us. I wanted to tell Diana that how much I was missing her and how good it would have made me feel to have her skin close to mine, to hold hands, to feel her breath and to look into her eyes. I was missing these simple things…yet simple they may be, they can only come true when she would be near to me. Missing Diana was something which I cannot explain. Her memories were not ready to leave me .Each passing day was making me more and more sink deep under sorrow. Time kept its pace, days went by and it was over a year now I still hadn’t received any call from Diana or via her friend .I guess she had forgotten me, she had forgotten our three years of love. Everybody around advised me to move on in life but it was hard for me to adhere to it. For moving on in life the first thing I had to do was to forget her and thought of forgetting her didn’t occurred to me even in my wildest dream. I never wanted to move on in life, meet new people or make new friends, would sound a bit weird but that’s the way I wanted to be. I was happy living with her memories. Even my tears were not ready to give up. They kept rolling down my cheeks.Lonliness had tightly gripped me .I tried escaping once, twice and then realized it was not going to leave me and therefore I happily surrendered myself. Having her near, feeling the soft tone her voice in my ear, looking into her eyes – these are the things that make me feel truly happy. Today my loneliness has made walls around me in which I happily live with diana’s memories. I had heard that missing someone who is absent is the saddest feeling of all but then I am enjoying it.

KUNAL.S.PRASAD

Sunday, September 9, 2007

OF MEETING AND PARTING

Kitty was in steady relationship with Jade,who lived in U.S for past two yrs.She was a friendly girl and because of her friendly nature the whole college knew about her affair.I met her for the first time through a common friend Sam. We used to say hi and hello without knowing that the divine had purposed our souls to come together and be best friends one day.We used to stay nearby therefore it was obvious for me to accompany her to the college.Time kept on moving and we got closer and closer.Meeting each other and being together almost everyday had bacome a habbit 4 me ,I guess even 4 her.With each passing day our freiendship kept on blossoming.Igot to know many things about Kitty and about her family.From the very Begining, Kitty's family objected strongly on her relationship with jade.This used to always annoy her.All I wanted was her happiness.
I clearly remember the night when she called me n said"friend there is a good news,my family has finally approved my relationship with Jade,"after hearing her happiness my face became blank, I could'nt utter a word from my mouth,did not know how to react.Should I feel happy for her or should I feel sad for myself was the matter of choice in my mind.From past many days a strange feeling had developed deep inside my heart,I guess it was the feeling of love.Yes I had fallen in love with her.
We met the other day,I could easily see the happiness on her face.She kept on telling me the whole conversation and I was busy listening.The whole day she was sharing her joy with me.I was just trying hard to be part of her happiness.It was close to evening when she told me that after moving to U.S she would call me everyday,i just holded her hand n said"who is goin to let u go".She stared deeply into my eyes ,into my soul as tears trailed down her cheek.At once she hugged me,hugged tightly n started to cry as if this was the last time she was letting her tears flow.I kept on consoling her.She knew I needed her very badly but then there was nothing she could do,there was someone who needed her more than me.
It was 26th of december, the day when she was moving to U.S.I did not go to the airport to drop her. She called me,we spoke for a while and then said that she'll miss me a lot.I kept the phone and that day it was my turn to cry and I cried, cried like a baby but this time there was no one beside me to console.

PLEASE COME BACK
MY HEART SAYS
PLEASE GIVE ME BACK
THOSE WONDERFUL DAYS.
KUNAL.S.PRASAD